I spend a ton of wasted hours here, sitting behind my laptop. And I'll admit, it's frustrating. Especially when I feel this anxiety ridden and upset. I for some reason since last night, if Eric doesn't answer me, I get panicky. I don't want to be that girlfriend that needs to keep tabs on him at all times to make herself feel better... It's not fair.

But I don't know what else to do with myself when I can't concentrate on anything because I'm working myself into a panic thinking he's ignoring me. Shit sucks. And it's even more intolerable because I feel like I don't have anyone. It seems like everyone else is busy and off doing their own thing, and I can't fucking sit still! I sincerely just want out of this house, I want to go see Eric, I need reassurance and help. I would give anything to just fall asleep now, and sleep through the night. But I've recently found myself regretting taking naps, they keep me up all hours, and I'm sleeping too god damn much as it is. Earlier today I woke up around 8:30, talked to Eric, and totally fell back to sleep until 11, until I started having bad dreams. I won't talk about them any more, because it's over with. But I feel like a mess lately, and I hate that feeling. I feel disoriented and out of place.