I think the universe listens too well to me. I was talking with Chris yesterday, and we were talking about our relationship, that I don't remember much of. Or I like to pretend I don't. But he said one thing that kindof made me wince. At the end of our relationship, I apparently said that regardless of my significant other, we would once again become reaquainted. Fuck, man. Not only did this happen with Chris, but with David-Shea, too. Although, I guess it was vice versa. Apparently, David-Shea said I would be back some day. And I was. The universe listens to these requests all too well, and now I'm starting to wonder. Similar to what happened the other day, I had said I didn't want to go out and do those two photo shoots I had to do Sunday. Guess what? I didn't have to - one cancelled and one stood me up. I think I need to start watching what I put out there to the universe. This shit's weird.

But, talking to Chris has been weird. Oddly, there's a little bit of a sexual urge there. However, it'll never happen. I love Travis. The end. But, I also told Chris yesterday that there will never again be anything between us. He hurt me far too bad, and I frankly just don't have feelings for him anymore. But I feel bad for the way things have been going between Travis and I. I love him so, so much... however, there's this strange thing going on. We've been a little rocky lately, so much more in past weeks than now, but the other day I almost got some kid's number at Boulder, and now the Chris thing? I understand that Travis and I have an on again/off again sexual relationship, but I love him way too much to really worry about that. I've learned that I crave way too much of a physical relationship, and that our emotional relationship means more. I've been trying to be less clingy, less cuddly. And what's funny is things have just so happened to get better. I've been happier in general. So, it looks like things are looking up.