It's been another long, lonely night.


I swear I'm not half as depressed as I sound, but it's still lingering there for some reason. It's like I feel the edge of it since I wanted to cut the other day. I'm still unsure what possessed that, but I feel like it's been difficult coping with a few things lately. For some reason, I had this urge to cut the other day at work. The box cutter was just sitting there... and I wanted to feel it again. I'm also tired of coming home to this house. I feel as though there's just such negative energy here that coming home from work even is exhausting. And I'm tired of not having someone to come home to. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no position to be in a relationship, but son of a bitch all I want lately is to cuddle. All of my friends seem to be set, and don't get me wrong, yes, I'm quite jealous of Travis and Samantha. Not because it's Travis, but because everyone seems so happy, and I'm the odd one out... again. Spring brings upon new beginnings, and I'm ready for them. But I just feel worn out and overwhelmed. I'm up later at night, thinking about things like how much I miss Eric... and it all sucks. I obviously don't enjoy it, but what can you do?