I'm going to be honest, frustration seems to be my middle name. Things haven't exactly been just a bunch of roses, and I hate it. The thought of last night makes me cringe, even though I had a fantastic time watching the movies and spending time with Travis. And the thought of tonight makes me cringe once again. Frustrating, isn't it? That just one person can ruin everything for you. Most people say that it's you yourself that lets it bother you, but I disagree, to an extent. With as uncontrollable as I am in general, it's truly difficult to just let things slide, especially when you've been hurt this badly. The thought of it makes me not want to go tonight - between that and Travis's attitude and apparently "forgetting" that I couldn't go to Liz's grad party because he needed my car... it all becomes so taxing. I know Travis thinks it's just "one of my moods," but I feel as though it's not. It's all my fault, though, you know? Always. I'm the one who's a train wreck, I'm the one who's always overly emotional and ruining everything. And again, I wish to end this entry with a giant "fuck you." But I shouldn't. A lot of my entries have been ending that way, in a "fuck everybody" sort of sense. I just get so frustrated with people, it's not even funny. When I feel as though I haven't done anything wrong and I get attacked, all I want to do is shove people away. I mean, when I become discontent with myself and others, I tend to want to just be alone. I'm also tired of wanting to know if things are normal. What's normal for me, seems to be frustrating to everyone else. Apparently I'm repeating myself.