After hearing that Eric and I might get to see one another on Tuesday, I've done nothing but think about him and how much I miss him. I might be trying to talk to Mark more and all, but nothing hides the love I still have for Eric. I miss that boy SO much, and it hurts me SO much to be like this. I've been trying to take my own advice since Caleb and Lindsay broke up and I've been trying to advise her, but it doesn't always work.

I just feel guilty and confused lately, though. I feel guilty for even talking to Mark, and yet, I'm confused because I guess I just don't know what Eric wants any more. I want that boy more than anything, and I want everything to be perfect again and for us to live our happy little lives for once... I just wish karma would get off of my back. Apparently I'm being punished for the way I treated Travis, and I do believe I deserved it. But it doesn't stop it from hurting. I hurt less, but I miss Eric more. :( Especially on nights like tonight when I'm incredibly cold and tired, all I want is to fall asleep in his arms. Sigh. I love that boy so much.