I figured maybe once in a while it would be a good idea to actually use this blog to it's fullest potential, and today seems like one of those days. I've been doing a lot of reflecting, and all of it started the day before yesterday... Wednesday. Wednesday night Eric got ahold of me, and told me his father was in the hospital not doing well. He's a diabetic, and is struggling with kidney failure and an infection that may be headed towards his heart. I was totally heartbroken for him, and he asked of me a favor. He said "I need just one night with you." My heart skipped a beat - because to me, that meant that I still meant something. He needed someone, and I was there. He wanted to be with me. I offered to come get him and bring him back to my place, but he was afraid of being too far away from his father in Auburn which I can understand completely. So, what we ended up doing was getting a hotel room in Geneva, and we spent the night together. We cuddled, we loved, we watched TV and ate chicken wings. :) It was a good night. He was mentally exhausted and I could tell. Everything seemed to be the way it used to be. Ass slaps, hand holding, cuddling and all. I was content. I even got to sleep curled up next to him again. Ashley hadn't been this happy since the last time she was with him. Why I'm talking in the third person? I'm not sure yet.
But any way, the next morning we were up early. I couldn't sleep to save my life, and he woke up to me. Things seemed great. He unfortunately did need to go home, then go see his father, which I felt bad for, I wish I could be there for him when he went, but it's not my place. Nothing like having to explain to your father that this is your now ex girlfriend who you just... well, you see where I'm going with this. But point being, we talked the next morning about where we stand. I was confused as always, my loving emotions getting the best of me after a great, great night. But Eric said something that I never expected. He said he has a lot going on right now, but would like to give us another try. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
My heart melted. I was content. I have another chance in the world. And I explained some things to him, and how I realized how bad off we were together. And it was all my fault. I have a lot of learning to do, and improving to do. But I want to make this work. I don't want to get my hopes up too much, but I'm ungodly hopeful.
All of this has lead me to do some reflecting on myself, though. Not only through a relationships point of view, but it's made me learn about myself and what I need to do with myself. This morning just seemed to be a perfect time to start on my self reflection and self improvement. I woke up, and did what I needed to do. I had an orange and a fiber one bar for breakfast, got dressed and went outside. I was regathering supplies this morning before the rest of the cold winter snow falls. I got books, books, more books, (okay, so like 6 books) and sewing supplies to keep me busy. But I did what I told myself I would do - I went out and I did it. Like a good girl. :) I've also seen some improvements on my eating habits here and there. More fruits and veggies have come my way, especially since talking so much about food with Lauren. Things are already fitting a little better, and I feel like a million bucks any way because of my little shopping splurge here the past week or so.
Least to say, I'm happy, learning and reverting to old, good habits. <3
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