My hurr is now all one color :]

But that's not what's on my mind. I mean, I'm pretty excited to have my hair basically back to normal, but I've been doin' a lotta reflecting, as usual. Which is the only reason I ever write in this thing, haha. Travis and I have been talking about what's been going on. Mainly, I've been apologizing. I've put the both of us in a super strange position. I have come to terms with the fact that I love David-Shea, but now, I'm trying to hide it. It had come out when I had gone to see him, but I'm not IN love with him. Yes, I truthfully enjoy the positive attention he gives me, but I'm in a relationship. I'm in love with Travis, and nothing has actually seemed to change that. I admit, however, that I had become blinded because of the fights that Travis and I get in.

I have a hard time coping with how he treats me because of my disability. I'm not even sure what it is yet, but the more that I realize the symptoms that I'm experiencing, the easier it is to find out. However, Travis can still say hurtful things, regardless. After having my extremely long talk with Sarah for hours and hours the other night, she opened my eyes to trying to let things all roll off my shoulders. I know why Travis makes fun of me, he doesn't understand what I'm going through, which makes things a little easier to let things roll. Or at least to try to, or want to try to. Who am I kidding? It's a new thing, and I'm going to try. Also, after talking to Sarah, it made what I'm going through all seem okay. It made it seem okay to accept the "nos" that come from Travis, and that we can live two separate lives, but come together for love. I love him, I love him, I love him, what can I say?