I feel totally, completely out of control. Last night, I had a fantastic night with Ron and Hurley. Ron and I met up at the mall, hung out, went over to borders n stuff, then met up with Hurley. We then went back to the mall, got Starbucks, and then went over to Denny's and hung out for an hour or two. We had a bitchin' waitress, and I filled out an application (yes, one up.) And then we came back to my place and chilled. No pun intended, either, it started to get super cold and down pour on the way home haha. But we just basically hung out on my kitchen floor, talking, writing comics, y'know... the usual. But they left around 2 AM, I think, and then I went to sleep and woke up at like... 1:49 PM I think? haha. It's been so long since I've slept like that, at least that late.
But I woke up this morning to some disappointing news. I once again was overdrawn on my account by like $6. Luckily, I have fantastic friends. Ron is taking care of that for me, he's throwing like $10 in my account to get me back to the positives. But I'm really doing a lot of thinking about this whole situation. I've put myself into such sticky situations mostly with money, and I don't know what to do. My first initial answer to that is literally to run away from my problems. I think that's why I've been so anxious to hang out with people, and go out and do things... because it gets me away from the problems I've been having. Unfortunately, these problems seem to be piling up, and giving me tension headaches n shit. I know I should be staying home, cleaning up my house, because it's still a mess, there's stuff everywhere that needs to be put away, but I'm not doing it because I just totally lack motivation. The only thing I seem to want to do lately is sit by the lake and relax. And that's abnormal for me, normally in the summer I want NOTHING to do with being outside, but that's all I want lately. I want to be out in the sun, I want to just sit there as the breeze cools my face... Ugh, my head hurts again :(
I've been pondering ideas to get myself back to normal, though. I'm thinking about the idea of getting a reloadable credit card, one that's pre-paid, to carry with me. And to keep my bank account debit card at home at all times and use it just to pay bills. I want to get away from my bank account, but I don't want to close it. That makes things more difficult than anything, not being able to do direct deposit with jobs or what have you. But maybe it'll also give me initiative to save more money to spend. Like... the more I save on that pre-paid card, the more I can spend? I think I want to start a "shopping fund" even just putting away like $10 a week or so, that way it deters me from spending from my budgeted money, to help me get a little more control. I also know I need to start making promises to myself and to everyone else. I know that sounds a little crazy, but there are a few promises I need to make.
- To stop spending money on fast food
- To stop spending money on excess things I don't need like clothes, accessories
- To start saving money
I can't imagine how much money I could have saved lately if I didn't spend so much on fast food. I've been so addicted lately to fast food, especially coffee. Star bucks? $5 per coffee? Timmy Ho's? $7 for coffee and tim bits? Burger King? $8 for a meal? Come on, really, Ash? I feel so embarrassed, but I just can't stop. And that's like yesterday, I bought a hat, and some fingerless gloves with silver skulls on them... bah. And a photography book? Well, I feel as though the photography book and the journal I bought will come in handy... but you know? I feel like a hoarder. I don't understand why new things just... make me feel better? *sigh* Well, another blog cut short by a distraction.
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