Why is it that loving yourself is the most important thing in life, and yet it's the hardest thing to do?

I went out today to put on a pair of roller blades I haven't worn since I was like 10. Well, I don't think I EVER wore them, ever, but shockingly enough, they fit. Unfortunately, my plan for roller blading failed miserably, as usual. And I've found myself more disappointed than ever. I don't know what's been up with myself lately, but I'm terrible. I've developed this ungodly feeling of hatred for myself and who I am, and my body. It's truly terrible, because I haven't felt this bad in SO long, so, so long. And I just don't know what to do with myself. I have found myself obsessing and needing Travis's reassurance constantly - hell, I called him 27 times last night because he wouldn't answer his phone. I just don't know what's wrong with me... I hate who I am, and I hate what I can and can't do. I don't know what to do with myself...