This is going to appear as utterly pathetic, but I just want to be left alone. Lindsay just came home from work, and I'm here alone at the apartment because Trav's over at Will's birthday party, and I don't know if it's just because the past few days have been loaded with people, or what, but I literally just want to be left alone. I was on facebook just a few minutes ago, and I got super frustrated. I went to send Tim a keytar link, and I found out that Tim deleted me. That really bothers me, you know? And then, I have an event invitation from WBER Local Show. It's dumb juvenile shit like that which makes me want to delete my facebook. I know I sound just as immature as the whole situation is, but people make me want to puke. There are just days where I want nothing to do with anybody, and I guess today is one of them. "Barf" seems to be in my vocabulary today as to how I feel. At least the past few hours. I woke up okay, but now I'm miserable as can be, and people just keep loading in the door. Lindsay came home, Caleb just came home... and I want to just go hide in Travis's room. I'm feeling quite anti-social and still hungry, but I feel ungodly stupid and vulnerable to my own emotions. How fair is that, world?

I also still feel like I'm eating too much. How fair is that, world? I'm munching on some kettle corn to soothe my emotions, I guess. My anger, my hate, my need to watch something melt. Eh. I guess I need to start taking more of this world with a grain of salt, and just focus on what I want to do and who I want to be. I did a little self discovery today, while visiting Border's in Henrietta. I discovererd I want to make a TON of things. I want to learn the art of jewelry making, AND I want to learn how to knit. I have a feeling I could really keep myself occupied with all of this nonsense. Although, it's not nonsense, it's awesome. My fear being, though, not spending enough time with Travis. I know him and I need time apart, but being away from him gets so frustrating, mainly at night. I rely on his body being next to mine for comfort and a feeling of safety, mostly. I don't mind if he goes and does his own thing, ever, but his companionship is important to me. Being as though I did learn to live without him for the like two minutes we were broken up, (which never should have happened, and I have yet to forgive myself for), I enjoy his company and I enjoy him being there for me. I love him. I love him lots and lots, and I think our selfish immature personalities take a toll on that some times. We argue about dumb shit, but we're trying to solve all of it.

Like tonight, I got pissed finally for having to wait for him while picking him up at work. It's selfish to say that I wait for no one, but it's true. I wait for no one, especially when doing one a favor. So, we got into a dumb tiff, and we settled it by me not picking him up from work any more. And that works for me, it seems fair. Another way for us to distance ourselves a wee bit, and yeah. Om nom nom.